symondrake.com » Reminscing

Mary Poppins. Hide your children

Symon — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:45:00 +0000

I’ve never seen Mary Poppins in its entirety. Parts of it have always given me the creeps.

Perhaps it’s is because of the not so subtle (down right scary) imagery hidden throughout the movie. Don’t be deceived by it’s cute Disney musical facade with the ever so innocent Mary (fresh from singing in the Swiss alps).

Pure evil I say.

You doubt me? Watch the original trailer if you dare.

*Shudder*

Giant devil fish, rays and panic attacks

Symon — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:00:00 +0000

Ever since I was a kid I have been fascinated by rays… PaislyeJade has been terrified by them.

She remembers an obviously doctored photo in an old local surf shop of an areal view of a dingy dwarfed by the shadow of a giant manta swimming beneath it. The imagery that fuels nightmares.

In our early years of marriage we had a couple of too-close-for-comfort encounters with rays.

We were having a leisurely snorkel one afternoon at a picture-perfect inlet and I came across one rather large ray basking beside a rocky outcrop. I pointed it out to PJ and couldn’t believe her courage as she she swam right up to it. It wasn’t until it started looking very threatening, did PJ then proceed to have a panic attack. Courage didn’t motivate her to get close up and personal with the ray that day… her mask was so fogged up that she couldn’t see it, until she was almost kissing it.

On another fateful Monday morning, we had only just started a classic surf session when I noticed that the sandy floor a couple of meters below us was quite literally covered with rays. What they were doing I cannot say… basking, spawning? But it was a little unnerving. Why oh why did I point them out to an oblivious PJ? Panic attack no.2.

Alright, so we all know that rays are harmless beautiful creatures. A reassuring fact sure enough, until its believability is shattered when Google reveals pieces of trivia like…

“Simon Pierce of Queensland University’s School of Biological Sciences said there were no accurate records of stingray deaths, but estimated there had been about 30 worldwide in recent years.”

And of course we can’t forget the late great Hunter of Crocodiles… by crikey.

Ever wanted to know how big these suckers get?

The Hawaii Association for Marine Education and Research, Inc. website claims that the largest manta species ‘Manta Birostris’ can have a wingspan of 9.1 meters.

Maybe the photo in the surf shop was real after all.

The Goonies and the illusive Giant Octopus

Symon — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:11:00 +0000

In relation to a recent Facebook thread, I couldn’t help but take 5 minutes out of my afternoon to write a quick post about the mysterious Goonies Octopus scene.

Back in the day (1985 to be precise), Goonies paraphernalia came out months before the release date here in NZ. The ever popular (at the time) Goonies Bubblegum Cards contained a couple of shots of the Giant Octopus scene. So, if you were anything like I was in ’85 (and still am), I couldn’t contain my excitement as I awaited the movie to start. The movie started and ended, there was no sign of the awesome giant octopus, I was gutted and it tarnished my view of the movie forever.

To rub salt in my wounds, at the film’s conclusion, when Data (the same kid who was in Temple of Doom) is talking to the reporters, he says: “…Yeah, and the part with the octopus was really scary!”

I could have cried.

And now, thanks to the magic of Youtube, let me reveal to you, the deleted Giant Octopus scene in all it’s glory. 29 years later all I have to say (once again) is… “Meh.”

Treat your mother right… fool!

Symon — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 10:21:00 +0000

Anyone growing up in the 80′s loved Mr. T. He was an icon of a bygone and fondly reminisced era. My wife even had a crush on him back in the day (married me because we look so similar;-) But I digress.

What I bet most of us Gen X’s don’t know (or anyone else for that matter) is that Mr. T had a brief stint as a singer/songwriter. I kid you not… and video proof follows.

Kinda catchy if you ask me…

Hip Chess for retro kidults

Symon — Sun, 17 May 2009 21:08:00 +0000

Chess rocks. I was in the chess club at school. I once had a very expensive medieval chess set. I love chess. Alas, I can count the number of fellow chess-loving-enthusiasts in my current circle of friends on no hands… zilch. nada. zero.

Imagine my delight when my 7 year old son came home from school last week and said, “Dad… can you teach me how to play chess?”

Parental bliss.

And so, having a re-kindled desire to go out and buy a Chess set which oozes awesomeness, I’ve been doing some research… and it seems that Chess for retro kidults is now very, very cool indeed. The problem is, you need a lot of money to be that cool. Looks like I’m gonna have to start saving ;-)

Spider-Man Deluxe Pewter Chess Set: $499 (USD)

Aliens Deluxe Pewter Chess Set: $374.99 (USD)

Lord Of The Rings Collectors Chess Set: $649.99 (USD)

Lego Ultimate Castle Chess Set: $300 (USD)

Star Wars Collectors Chess Set: $599 (USD)

Fred and Barney’s Nicotine addiction

Symon — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:55:00 +0000

Anyone in their 30′s and older will remember well the Flintstones. The cartoon was one of my all-time favourites and I reminisce (with nostalgic happiness) the 80′s when the show screened every school day around 4pm. Any cultured kidult will know that the Flintstones equal retro cartoonsville at its very best. I even named my cat ‘Barney’ in honour of the show.

What I bet you didn’t know is that good old Fred and Barney were also heavy cigarette smokers, frequently lighting up and at the same time encouraging their impressionable viewers to do the same.

Shame on them. Actually, same on the shows producers. Let me explain…

The Flintstones series was initially aimed at adult audiences, and the first series was sponsored by Winstone Cigarettes. Hanna Barbara allowed Fred and Barney to appear in several black and white television commercials for the cigarette company.

And we think that today’s cartoons are a bad influence!?

Symon and the Real Girl

Symon — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 22:00:00 +0000

It’s our wedding anniversary today. I was scrummaging through my shed this morning (as you do on your wedding anniversary) and found my Best Man’s wedding speech. Wayne, you did a legendary job with this, and it still makes me crack up thirteen years later!

So for a window into our life almost a decade and a half ago, read on…

Ode to Symon and Kristy

Symon was a quiet lad, or so we have been told
But we knew that things would have to change before he grew too old
At the age of sixteen he picked up a guitar and began to sing and write
Committed to his cause he wrote a barrelful of tunes, sometimes two or three a night
They were songs to change the world, and songs to spread the word
And yet most of the songs that Symon wrote, no one ever heard (except me)

A few years down the track, God answered Symon’s prayer
On Friday night the phone did ring and a voice said “It’s Brian here”
The news that Brian brought gave the greatest of great joys…
An offer for Symon to play the bass for a band called “The Flatboys”
Symon quickly accepted Brian’s offer to play
He rang his mum and told his friends and started the very next day
With lots of gigs booked and Summer Harvest camp
Symon took his biggest step yet and bought a brand new bass amp

Symon’s new Peavey was all his pride and joy
At $2000 he told his mum that it really wasn’t a toy
With low gain, high gain, crossover and DI
The bass amp had Symon’s heart, and to girls he turned a blind eye
For several years Symon and his amp continued in perpetual bliss
And whenever he spent a few days away, it was only his amp that he’d miss

And then one day without warning, a girl came on the scene
She went by the name of Kristy, and Symon was definitely keen
Kristy, Kristy meek and mild… No one knew of her intent
But between you and I and Warren and Brian, the bass amp knew what it meant
As time went by the Kristy thing eventually took its course
Symon and his poor old amp had to file for divorce

So if you’re wondering if these two are a good match
Of Symon at least you can be quite sure, in Kristy he’s found a good catch
Late at night when Kristy tells Symon it’s his turn to turn off the lamp
She knows without doubt she’s the only girl in the world…
Who got him to sell his bass amp

Happy anniversary Princess! I still think you are a ‘good catch’. Love you heaps babe.

Kali, Thugees & the Temple of Doom

Symon — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 04:35:00 +0000

Those of us raised on a regular media diet in the 80′s will remember well Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I was all nostalgic the other day, and watched it on DVD (the first time in nearly twenty years). I must say that I was appalled by the human-sacrifice-to-Kali-goddess-of-death-by-thugge-cult-fanatics-in-temple-under-palace scene. The ‘Fast Forward’ button was used fuequently. Perhaps, I’ve become resensitised (opposite of desentitised) in my old age, which is a very good thing.

The disturbing part is that the Temple of Doom and corresponding cult is based on fact.

Thugee (from the Hindi verb ‘thaglana’ meaning ‘to deceive’) was a secret society based in India with followers who regarded murder as a legitimate sport and a very important part of their faith. The Thugees used scarves to strangle unsuspecting travellers whom they would befriend on the high roads of India during the pre-British era. At its prime, the Thugee cult was responsible for about 30,000 killings per year.

Thugees worshipped ‘Kali’, the Hindu goddess of death and destruction. They believed Kali had ordered them to destroy all men who were not of their kindred. Hence, every murder carried out was considered an offering to Kali. Surprisingly, Kali’s followers were normally good citizens (many were influential in Indian society) who were also devoted to their families.

The cult was eventually eradicated by the British colonists, led by Sir William Henry Sleeman during the second quarter of the 19th century.

A few concluding questions…

- Do Thugees still exist? Who really knows for sure that they were completely eradicated?

- Would Sir William Henry Sleeman be tried for War crimes if he was alive today? Thugee extermination does not sound very PC to me.

- Killing was considered crucial to the Thugee’s religious practices. If they were active in New Zealand today, would they get away with murder? After all, a former NZ polititian frequently (and flauntingly) broke the law during his days in parliment. His excuse? Religious practice.

- Just how authentic did Lucas and Speilberg make the Temple of Doom? The freaky chanting and sacrifice rituals… I shudder to think. I know that during the sacrifice scene, Mola Ram chants in Hindi, imploring “Kali Ma Shakti de,” asking for the “Spiritual power of Mother Kali.” It is very disturbing actually. Where does acting become reality? Where does ‘being entertained’ become ‘being defiled’?

And finally, yes… the english word ‘thug’ originated from ‘thugee’.

Nana was kung fu fighting

Symon — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:35:00 +0000

Nana passed away when I was a tween. She lived out of town and I never saw her all that much. She was an elderly, eccentric, half-Italian lady, who knew a lot of grief in her lifetime.

One memory of her that always makes me smile is the time she stayed with us a few days during the school holidays in the eighties.

It seemed like Nana lived for soap operas and no one could pry her from the television set during her daily helping of Young And The Restless, Days Of Our Lives and other similar drivel.

I was going through a Jackie Chan phase at the time and had absent-mindedly forgotten to eject ‘Project A’ (Jackie Chan classic) from the video player, when it was Nana’s turn to watch the tele.

Nana must have wondered why her much-loved soaps had become so action-packed all of a sudden, because unbeknownst to me at the time, she had accidentally pushed ‘Play’ on the remote and watched Jackie Chan for two hours!

Wax on wax off Nana! The following youtube clip is dedicated to you ;-)

Surfing with jaws

Symon — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 07:57:00 +0000

It was the summer of 99… oooo yeah (in my best Bryan Adams voice). Me and my good buddy Les were surfing at Elliots’ beach, Far North, New Zealand. It was a brilliant summer’s day, the waves were small but clean, and I was out the back by myself waiting for the next set (Les was grovelling further in due to his board being too short).

While waiting for the next set I saw a huge form cruise slowly past me, about 10′ away and about 4′ from the water’s surface. It took a couple of seconds for my mind to register what it was… a huge shark, longer than my 9′ longboard (10′-12′ would not be an exaggeration). For a brief moment I was in awe of the creature, until I realised that it looked remarkably like a Great White, and that my legs were in very close proximity to it’s jaws.

Anyone else ever had a terror-rush? It’s something you never forget.

I prayed silently while trying to gently catch a wave in using only my fingers to paddle with. Somehow, I managed to ride in (an angel must have pushed my board ;-). I came up beside Les, who was in wastedeep water, and pointed to the water out yonder. We both saw the shark’s silouette in the oncoming wave… it was a truly awesome sight, albiet for only seconds. Wonder had overtaken fear.

Needless to say, we didn’t go surfing again… that is, at least for a couple of hours.

I’ve read recently that it is not the shark you do see that is dangerous. It is the shark that you don’t see that is dangerous, as sharks use the element of surprise and attack their intended morsel unseen from underneath. So, next time you are out surfing or swimming, remember… if you don’t see a shark, be afraid… be very afraid.