symondrake » Confessions

The love of the telling?

Symon — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:53:03 +0000

There are many concepts addressed in C. S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce that are extremely insightful, if not equally controversial. (Read the flannelgraph review here).

I admit to being only an amateur musician, focusing mostly on writing songs for use in congregational worship, but I find Lewis’ insight into the motivations of the ‘Christian’ artist deeply challenging.

“It was all a snare. Ink and catgut and paint were necessary down there [on earth], but they are also dangerous stimulants. Every poet and musician, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be interested in God at all but only in what they say about Him. For it doesn’t stop… you know. They sink lower – become interested in their own personalities and then in nothing but their own reputations.”

I must ask myself… am I guilty of the same? Being drawn away from loving the One I tell about, by the love of the telling?

Mary Poppins. Hide your children

Symon — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:45:00 +0000

I’ve never seen Mary Poppins in its entirety. Parts of it have always given me the creeps.

Perhaps it’s is because of the not so subtle (down right scary) imagery hidden throughout the movie. Don’t be deceived by it’s cute Disney musical facade with the ever so innocent Mary (fresh from singing in the Swiss alps).

Pure evil I say.

You doubt me? Watch the original trailer if you dare.

*Shudder*

Crochet rocks! (Thanks to Woo)

Symon — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 09:16:00 +0000

Yes, you did read the post title correctly. I, Burton… former mocker of crocheters worldwide have changed my ways. I have seen the light, and I owe it all to Woo!

This guy has actually succeeded in turning me from one who was embarrassed to be in the same car with my wife while she crocheted, to someone who not only is okay with crochet… but who now thinks crochet ROCKS!

Be sure to check out his blog, his work is very impressive, and he is absolutely hilarious!

PS – Howie… do you have the instructions for those awesome grenades?

Green ’round Grenades from WooWork on Vimeo.

I’m okay with crochet

Symon — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:59:00 +0000

For those of you that follow the world’s most amazing wife’s blog, you will know that her new found love is (ahem) crochet.

At first I thought that my wife was having a crises of sorts. I mean crocheting? That’s what old-fashioned ladies carry in their 2-wheeled-shopping bags. Even the word ‘crochet’, if pronounced the way it looks is off-putting.

Nevertheless, for the last few weeks, my wife has been crocheting everywhere… in the car, in the bed, at the dog park, probably in the bathroom…

PaisleyJade’s womanly wiles have paid off and I have finally come around. I Burton, confess that I’m now okay with crochet. In fact, some (and I emphasise ‘some’) crochet is actually very cool. Still, most (and I emphasise ‘most’) crochet is atrocious.

The good…
The bad…

The Sound Of Music rocks!

Symon — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 05:09:00 +0000

I have a confession to make… I, Burton, think The Sound Of Music rocks!

…And that would make me cool (because we all know that anyone into retro stuff is rather hip). Another, even more shocking confession… We even own two copies of the DVD ( original and special anniversary edition).

I do believe a Sound Of Music revival is coming to the world… View clip below, be inspired, and spread the love.

I stole my own daughter

Symon — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:26:00 +0000

A funny thing happend to me while I was in the Spotlight store the other day. Spotlight (for you lucky people who have never been to one) is a huge craft and fabric shop that I’m certain was designed to teach husbands how to love their wives like Christ loved the Church.

I was enduring Spotlight with wife and my four kids, when my youngest daughter (4 months off 2 years old) decided to run around the store and disrupt the serene atmosphere. While Pasiley Jade was in ‘laa laa land’ caressing all the fabrics (why do women have to touch everything they see in shops?) I scooped up my runaway daughter and saved the day.

Then my adroable little daughter spoke, or rather screamed one word, over and over again.

HELP!

We still don’t know where she learned the word (perhaps from Kid’s Against Crime?), but all of a sudden there I was restraining my own daughter, looking like a childnapper. If Paisley Jade hadn’t come to my rescue, and validated that she was really my daughter… I don’t know what would have happened.

Goodtimes.

I watched a chick flick

Symon — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:29:00 +0000

Firstly, to reassure some readers that I am not watching anything dodgy, let me define what a chick flick is. Trusty Wikipedia says:

‘Chick flick’ is slang for a film designed to appeal to a female target audience. The term was first used in the 1980s, a decade during which such chick flicks as Beaches were released. Although many types of films may be directed toward the female gender, ‘chick flick’ is typically used only in reference to films that are heavy with emotion or contain themes that are relationship-based.

Last night I watched a chick flick. The only other genuine chick flick I’ve ever seen is ‘Little Women’. Before I married Paisley Jade I took her to see it (guys do the most illogical things when they are in love). The Little Women experience pretty much put me off chick flicks for life. I mean, I am a guy… I like movies with explosions, not emotions.

Our typical date night DVDs have usually involved viewing more masculine movies (the most recent being ‘Rescue Dawn’), but I have become convicted. So, I took the plunge and Paisley Jade and I watched ‘Pride and Prejudice’. I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Of course, it could have been much better… I’m sure they could have written an explosion or two into the screenplay.

So, if any of you can recommend any more good, clean and moral ‘chick flicks’ please leave a comment. I’m sure I can endure watching the odd one occasionaly (in between ‘real films’ that is

I gave a girl head injuries

Symon — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:30:00 +0000

Now that I have your attention with the dramatic post title…

Wesley Intermediate School, 1985, Form 2. There was a girl my my class called Sarah. One day after lunch (I remember it as though it were yesterday), she was about to sit down at her desk. I saw my window of opportunity and didn’t hesistate to make the most of it. Being completely oblivious to any consequences… I pulled the chair out from underneath her before she sat on it. I had imagined that Sarah would graciously fall on her behind, I’d be the class comedian, she would see the funny side, there would be laughs all round and good times would be had by all. Boy, I was so wrong. Before Sarah’s behind had a chance to even touch the ground, her head come down on the corner of the desk… hard.

Have you ever had one of those moments, when you would give almost anything to go back in time just a few seconds, and not do the stupid thing you just did? This was one of those times.

There were no laughs to be heard. Sarah was crying (at least she wasn’t unconscious). There were no good times being had by all. Everyone who was present at the time hurled abuse at me. I was not the class comedian… I was the class moron. Not quite what I had envisioned.

I gave a girl head injuries (well, maybe ‘head injuries’ is a bit over dramatic)… I humiliated a very nice girl and gave her a bad bruise and a massive bump on her head.

Sarah, I said it on the day, but I want to say it again… I’m sorry. I was such an idiot.

Guys, please don’t treat girls like this… ever.

I was hit by a grey van

Symon — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 07:05:00 +0000

It was a sunny Saturday morning in 1990.

I was riding my bike home from the video shop when a little boy ran in front of my bike. I swerved and luckily only clipped him with my leg, unluckily though, I was on the footpath at the time. I stopped to check if the boy was alright. Fortunately he was fine, but his dad wasn’t. His dad was extremely angry. I lost my nerve and pedalled away as fast as my skinny legs would go. I thought that was the end of the drama. Not so. The drama was just beginning.

Ten minutes later and I was now far away from where the incident took place, slowly riding home, minding my own business. Suddenly, a grey van approached me… going fast… and not stopping. No kidding. The bullbars hit my bike, and I hit the ground. In a bewildered state I attempted to get back on my bike, but the driver (who turned out to be the father of the kid) jumped out of the van, grabbed hold of me and punched me in the head. That was the first and only time I have ever been knocked out by another person.

He dragged me to the nearest house and demanded that the occupant give him a pen so I could write my address details down, problem was that I could hardly walk let alone write (and why did he want to know where I lived?). Some concerned citizen must have then dialled 111, because it wasn’t long before sirens were heard, two police cars pulled up… and the man denied everything. In the end (as there were no witnesses) it was my slurred word against his, and I was too scared to press charges.

I think I pushed my bike the rest of the way home. The ever-so-considerate policeman didn’t even offer me a ride home. I leaned my bike up against the garage wall, went to mum… and bawled.

It was a sunny Saturday morning in 1990.

I killed an endangered animal

Symon — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:12:00 +0000

I ran a youth leadership retreat eariler this year (the same one where Fifi had her mouse episode). It was held at an isolated location in the middle of native NZ bush, here in Northland.

Late one night a few of us (led by the legendary bushman Mr JG) ventured out to see the wildlife – namely freshwater crayfish, possums, and if we were very fortunate, a Kauri Snail. (I’m glad we didn’t spot any possums though, as Mr JG has a habit of dispatching them with only his bare hands and a treetrunk.)

During our moonlit adventures, we were lucky enough to spot some Kauri Snails. Our intrepid guide made sure we were careful where we walked, as Kauri Snails are an endangered species and protected by New Zealand law. I had never seen one before and was fascinated by them. Here are some facts I bet you never knew…

Kauri Snails may live to 20 years or more.

The Kauri Snail is carnivorous and cannibalistic.

Mating is triggered by extreme weather conditions, and can last for 10 hours or more.

Now, here is my confession. We were walking back to the lodge, and I was lagging behind the group. Suddenly, I heard the sickening sound of a 20 year old Kauri Snail’s shell crushing under my foot. I stopped and looked down… Giant snail pulp. I felt sick. No one else heard. I kept quiet.

I have been carrying the guilt of my actions ever since. Today, I come clean. To every animal lover, Green party supporter, and DOC worker reading this… please forgive me.